got dragged by the dark one to an impromptu trick-or-treating session at pishy's house. naturally, everyone who is anyone who hung out at the gazebo during senior year (except asha, BOO) were there. i haven't seen them in a while, too. i did have fun, though something was amiss, but that's a story for another day.
anyway, i had to leave early to fetch justin. as i was saying my goodbyes to my long-lost friends, i had a short exchange with steph. i basically blurted out that i will see them again soon (naturally, i was uncertain when "soon" actually was in my calendar) and she quickly retorted with, "when is soon? next year?"
immediately i felt a dull pang. dull, but it was there. dull because i knew i would eventually get around to reflecting on it later.
was it really that bad? i suppose it was. i still feel guilty. i kind of felt the frustration in steph's voice as she said it. however, you can't really blame me - it's not easy to maintain high school bonds when there are two el train lines separating colleges where most of the people you grew up with chose to go. now that my mother's not teaching in taft anymore i have less reason to go to taft, unlike last year when i was there nearly as much as i was in UP.
however, this is the risk we all understood by graduating in the first place. we may not have accepted it, but it's there. we will get pulled in separate directions. that doesn't mean we can't see each other again, but the chance goes down like mercury in the north pole. maybe i was just guilty that i didn't actively try and connect with them again. one thing is for sure, though - it was still good seeing everybody again.
as for "soon," well, only fate knows when that is. never despair; it will happen. we just don't know when, but rejoice in the fact that it will happen.
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