running out of things to do, plots to go and music to play the other night at the cemetery, the conversation of the brothers moran meandered around various topics. eventually, i don't know how but i'm kind of glad it did end up at the topic of going back to the U.S. of A, and staying there permanently, at that. the conversation stoked many different feelings stashed away within my soul but not kept out of reach; every one of them completely and blissfully nostalgic.
it's no secret (well, i'm pretty sure it's not, i keep mentioning it whenever i get the chance) that i love it back there, and i wanna go back - for good. i miss the chi. i miss fontana. hell, i even miss temecula/murietta. i've always postulated that i envision my future to be there and not here, not particularly because i damn this place to hell and there is absolutely no future, but because to begin achieving my dream, i have to be there and not here. it's a matter of logistics, actually. i have it all planned out.
the seeds have been sown and steadily they grow. one day in the uncertain future i'm gonna leave. again. i honestly don't know when, so i might as well accomplish as much as i can right here. and next time, i won't make such a big deal out of it anymore. i'm pretty inclined to agree with gabriella, and not because she's so damn hot, but because it makes a whole lot of sense, and i like it. i'll just walk away. it's kind of cruel to leave my peeps hanging (well, not completely, i just won't draw it out like i did before) but it's for my own good, anyway.
though then again, this is still speculation. nothing's concrete. it may be sooner rather than later, but it could also be later rather than sooner. there's no denying, however, that i'm wishing that it's the former - there's an itch in all three of us brothers that is waiting to be scratched by getting on that plane out of here. yeah, that's how much i... no, we, miss it.
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