this is a week late, but bear with me.
a little over two years ago, in the 13th of november of 2005, eddie guerrero was suddenly taken away from us. the internet wrestling community (wasn't a part of this yet at the time) grieved, and i too posted my grievances on this same blog. but after a while, everyone moved on. the show must go on, like freddie valiantly said. i loved his antics and his matches, but i only knew him through the tv screen. i mention this to people and they always think of the usual suspects, but my hand was at the quick, to defend his integrity because it was public knowledge that the guy had been clean for a good while now.
seven months ago, one of eddie's bestest best friends chris benoit suddenly went all batshit on us and offed himself and his family. why he did that, we will ultimately never know as he's already silenced himself. once again, up to that point, i loved chris benoit both as a person and an in-ring performer, despite knowing him as well through the tv screen, where anything can be distorted. we all believed that he was a good person, and i'm willing to accept that fact just as long as it's not mentioned in the same breath as the june incident. at first i thought he just went totally mental (and that is the general consensus... i think) at the time and shouldn't contribute to his general personality. i also couldn't grasp how people weren't able to manage to separate the chris benoit in the ring and the chris benoit outside the ring, by vowing not to watch any match with a mere speck of benoit in it. but now... i don't know what exactly to believe, and i've stopped trying to pursue that end of the truth.
and then we have heath ledger.
obviously he has barely anything in common with the two wrestlers other than the fact that they're actors (yeah, they're actors) and, well, they're dead, way ahead of their time. but you and i, we know these guys only through a screen. i can't ultimately tell you that chris benoit was either a good person or a bad person, because when it comes down to it, that's not my call. i can't be too sure that eddie was completely clean at the time of his death because there's been evidence of some of the bad stuff a couple of weeks before that morning. you and i can't be as damn sure as well about what really really really went down with heath, beyond the headlines and the dirt sheets. there were pills around his bed, but what of them?
what did we really know? nothing, aside from the fact that he had just finished playing a demented joker in the next batman film (wonder how that's gonna turn out). purportedly he locked himself in a room to prepare for the role. it's the things like this that raise all sorts of silly speculations that distract from the fact that the man is dead. sure, we're all curious, but these days we can never be satisfied with the "how" than with the "why". and it's natural, i guess.
it's possible, yet difficult, to raise speculation without passing judgment. heightened curiosity would be completely tolerable if people would just ask without throwing useless cents in their answers. if he was an addict or whatever-pathic, does it matter? it never dampened his skill in acting. if more people can just manage to do that, then heath's soul could rest in peace. in fact, it would be better for people to be just happy for him as he's free from this life's problems. it's better to move on, for like you and me (unless you were actually a close friend of the guy - acquaintances don't count), we only knew him through a screen, and let's celebrate his life by reveling in what he did in that screen.
rest in peace, heath ledger. if anything, it made me curious enough to anticipate your joker portrayal. i hear jack nicholson is still pretty angry.
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