i hope i die before i get old (...?)

it's 13 and a half hours 'til my birthday and for the second time in a row, i am not exactly hyped.

i mean, you could all understand why if this was last year - i was not here. this time around, it's a little more unusual since, technically, i have got what i need. i've got locations, i've got the time, i've got my friends (well, a good part of them); the most unusual thing i don't got is the will.

maybe because i've proven to myself that i can survive a lonely birthday. or maybe because i recently got wind of the fact that some of my friends apparently have a problem with me. or maybe because i know that if i invite all the usual people, we wouldn't be complete even if both parties wanted to attend. or maybe, just maybe, i've already bored myself with the happenings that usually surround my birthday (seeing as i've been doing this schtick for three years already and i rarely see any variation).

or maybe all of that, combined.

whatever happens tomorrow is guaranteed to be a result of a fickle whim. who knows where i'll go, what i'll do, who i'll ask to come along. just be prepared for last minute shindigs.