one of my candy-coated weaknesses, along with my steadfast loyalty to any of my friends and my natural amiability, is my utmost desire to make the most out of every day. i believe that while you're unconscious (i.e. sleeping), you're missing out on a lot. i agree with what gliza said about sleeping early being unproductive, and that is the reason why staying up late became a habit of mine (started around my grade school graduation when i discovered chatting). since then, i feel a tinge of regret whenever i take a nap and wake up to find that three or more hours have passed (however, lately i find that a good thing due to my lack of sleep).
this is why i feel bad whenever i'm left out of something i could've been in. this is why i was so torn up between going to father and son or the lsyc retreat when both were still scheduled for the same weekend (though i cannot go to camp anymore since the schedule cannot permit us). this is why i felt bad when i heard leiron's adventures at the hotel while i was sleeping.
when you look at it closely, this kind of thing is annoyingly shallow. there is usually no point worrying about spilled milk; it just shows that i tend to think a lot about what could've been, only denying or even patronizing my own inaction - which is, in itself, not good.
maybe i just don't get my fair share of "memz lolz"? but i get a lot already, don't i? what the hell is wrong with me? maybe i'm just trying to run away from all the bad of the world by making up for it with the good.
however, that can only happen in a perfect world. you and i know that this world is far from perfect.
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