the soljah

in accordance with my newest-ever mantra for my life (for those of you reading this on multiply, just look up at the header), here is a "progress report" of sorts.

hustle - i've been giving the better part of my hustle for little or nothing.
loyalty - i've always been loyal, but once more, for little or nothing.
respect - i give all my respect but i rarely see it go my way.

now without going on too long and sounding like a fanboy, i shall end with this. life is hard but one has to keep going. might as well, because something better might be waiting.

meanwhile, i couldn't find a better song to convey my thoughts than terry kath's indignant declaration of wanting freedom. i just wanna be free, from all the hurt, from all the pain. i just want to end these lonely hours, end these lonely days.

the overlap

today/yesterday i cooked my first-ever plate of pancit (yes, the version we love the most). though since i am a beginner and i haven't cooked anything other than rice in a long while (3rd year t.h.e. i miss you), it was too soggy and rather spaghetti-like.

i have learned, oh, i have learned indeed. and i'm missing you but i can't find the confidence and the willpower to pick up the phone.

turn the eagles up

i am slowly beginning to have this grudge against the AM band. like i said before, the news is a stressful little creature, so i try my best to avoid it as much as possible - either by playing one of the twelve cds or switching to the FM band, where i listen to only one station anyway (RJ. bite me). i wanna listen to the eagles, they wanna listen to the news. what gives?

like don henley sang in his annoyingly synth-driven song, and i agree with it all the way, "people love it when you lose, they love dirty laundry. / it's interesting when people die, give us dirty laundry."

so i am forced to listen to the god damned news, which in turn forces me to lose my faith in humankind. what did i hear tonight? rod strunk. the highlight of that news coverage was the american homeless shelter dudes who gave some statements (especially the black guy. you don't hear much black guys on philippine AM radio). what else? kids (read: teenagers) storming and stampeding down comelec just to register themselves for the damn SK. as if there was no greater show of stupidity. man, am i ashamed or what.

the only respite i get is when mike enriquez does his endorsements. now that, my friends, is how you advertise. no stupid, inane jingles and songs, no dumb catchphrases and taglines. mike enriquez is like jbl; he knows how to put over something. the only problem i have is that he overdoes it (think, after every other commercial break he's got something to patronize).

this is why i live, breathe and think music. it's the only way. FM > AM. screw the damn news, you'll just die early from all the stress you'll get from listening to all the dirty laundry. you only listen to the news for suspension announcements, period. and foreign exchange rates. showbiz news ain't even funny - it's useless. if i were kris aquino i'd take a macho gun and shoot down any reporter who tries to ask about what james yap gave me for our 2nd wedding anniversary.

why not just listen to RJ 100.3? if you tune in from 5 'til 6 in the morning, you get an hour-long beatles marathon. saan ka pa?

not going quietly

for reasons i have already all but forgotten right now (read: it has been reduced to 'for kicks'), i have been counting the number of hours of sleep i get, every time i wake up. maybe, this is to estimate how long my tank will run for the day (which is nullified by the fact that i get to refill it when i sleep in the car - of course, in the case of lack of sleep).

today i woke up at 'round 9:30 am after having an unusual dream, yet something i have already seemed to dream about before. so, that gives me roughly 10 hours of sleep.

yet, i still have eyebags. what gives?

we're gonna find out, pretty mama, what turns on your lights

as i type this i am watching the eagles' farewell concert I, live from melbourne, australia, being telecast over at star world. man, these guys are the shit - they're still class acts even though they're 'round 40-60 years old. of course, it seems that don henley has never hit puberty, but that's what makes the songs great, innit?

it's a shame, however, that don felder had to be kicked out from the group. i had always thought that don felder > joe walsh (as seen on hotel california from hell freezes over) and i really wanted to hear visions... as if they would actually play it. joe walsh was always the mid-tempo slow rocker kinda guy (listen to his songs, from rocky mountain way to the rather candidly amusing I.L.B.T.s) and i preferred don felder's much more energetic style.

timothy schmit is as mellow as ever. i prefer his high voice to don henley's.

one of these naaaaaaaaghts!

longing

missing lazy summer afternoons.

i still say give the weekend back its dignity, it has long lost it. how disgraceful.

you arrive in my life like a fragrance

the downside of having a great start to the weekend is that subsequently, you feel lazy to try and accomplish anything productive.

and that you really don't look forward to going back to the drabness of school on a gray monday, because, well, we can always meet at the mall, can't we?

and it seems that doing anything that even slightly resembles schoolwork is already raising the white flag on your weekend. please, give the weekend back its dignity!

the boy who heard music

along with edge and a few other of my peers, mr. pete townshend is one writer that i am quickly growing to love. lately it seems that i keep wishing that i could write like he does (both songs and blog entries). his writing style is quite different from his songwriting style, but you can see, and if you do listen to the music of the who, that there is a certain connection and similarity in his creation of the two separate media, which you really can't point out, because it's just... there.

there is something about the way he writes. i guess it's his years. years of writing lyrics have probably made writing about your life plainly as it is seem easier. somehow i still couldn't find all of the confidence that allowed me to write like i did some three years ago. where is the romeo moran that gave little damn to what others thought of his writing?

but the more important question is, do we want to see him again?

under my artificial moonlight

the current soundtrack to my life:

1. creedence clearwater revival - fortunate son, from the album willy and the poor boys. it almost completely describes my life up to the present.
2. derek & the dominoes - layla, from the album layla & other assorted love songs. if fortunate son described my life, layla describes my love life. most of it, at least. plus the present as well. clapton is a genius.
   
3. don henley - the last worthless evening from the album the end of the innocence. what i really want to say is something along the lines of this song.
4. eagles - you never cry like a lover from the album on the border. somewhat something i'd like to say to a few certain people.
5. the who - odorono from the album the who sell out. i'm not saying i stink - i just wish all commercial jingles were like this. (some, however, are on that direction already.)

and on another note, y'all gotta download jenny by the flight of the conchords. you'll love it, i promise you.

could you actually bet your life today? and win?

look at your calendars!

wait, you already know?

damn.

ah, of course.

the media has been constantly reminding you for the past week that today's date is july 7, 2007. when you numerize that it becomes 7/7/[0]7. what does that mean? will you win the lotto today? will the girl you've been chasing say yes to you? will you finally get that new gadget you've been eyeing forever?

if by 11:59 tonight, you can answer yes to any or all of the questions i just asked you up there, then, well, congrats. you are, in creedence clearwater revival's terms, a fortunate son. or daughter. or better yet, child.

however, that's such a long shot! the media (and to a certain extent, the church, but they're a different story) has been hyping today, because the slots all stop at the right places to form the jackpot number, and apparently you're supposed to be extremely lucky. some have turned them into gimmicks (hello gma, though you're entitled to) and lots of people are buying.

newsflash. nothing special's gonna happen to everyone. maybe some people will get lucky today, but not everyone. the media has taken a piece of pop numerology, pimped it and showed it to the world, preaching that today, of all days, is the day. for what? dunno. the world didn't end on june 6 last year, what makes you think today should be any different?

oh, and if it makes a difference, according to wiki, many people died today. how's that for their luck, huh. on the other hand, al gore's brain-child, live earth, happens today - which according to sir roger daltrey, is quite unnecessary, really.

i hope you had a happy triple seven. if there is one person who is definitely up on his luck, it's gotta be bruce willis - as john mcclane. if y'all haven't watched it yet, y'all gotta go see it, y'hear?

stuck in a moment i couldn't get out of

random thoughts, for i am unwinding. emotional stress, y'know.

- okay, now that the misconception has been cleared up, i have made up my mind. i want that phone. i want that phone. phone > flash drive/mp3 player. i want it. i might even go so far as to say that i need it. i don't care how long it takes, i want it.

- this week i've learned two things on the piano: the opening notes of michael buble's everything, and the famous three-chord riff of the who's baba o' riley.

- i don't get it, music one has almost a complete back catalog of U2, but they're not carrying queen, eagles, or even the who's live at leeds? the concept of the "greatest hits" album is overrated, people; however, it is handy for the casual fan. especially when they cost only 'round P365. hooray for the "gold" collections!

- speaking of music one, now that i think of it, here are the CDs on my wish list (because, you know, i'm already feeling guilty enough for downloading and burning whole albums): the joshua tree and achtung baby by U2, the long road to eden by the eagles (when it comes out later this year), live at leeds by the who, chronicle (volumes one and two) by creedence clearwater revival, and the gold collections of both cream and the allman brothers band. and maybe rush's gold collection as well. oh, and that tribute to queen has piqued my interest.

- rush's 2112 has finished downloading! time now to immerse myself in geddy lee's rather annoying, high-pitched voice. still don't know how i can stand it. not.

music philosophy pt. 2

there is a corollary to my previous posts, and it involves old songs.

i do realize that listening to classic rock/classic pop/old songs in general does not equal to listening to what is mainstream in the present, and that would fall under the non-conformist category.

but!

the 'classic' genre is called classic for a good reason - they were mainstream back in their day. therefore, you can be considered conforming... just not with your generation. it was the 'in' thing some years ago - just not now - but the fact remains that it was the in thing after all.

despite stepping in each other's territory sometimes, nostalgia is quite different from being a bit esoteric.

music philosophy

picture this.

a typical 16-year-old is at a music store, and he has P500 to spend on one cd. of course, he could come back next week with another 500 to spend on another cd. however, the focus is on the now. he would be bragging telling friends about his purchase later on, and of course this typical teenager would be conscious of his purchase, which would be in direct relation to his music tastes, which would be in direct relation to his social standing. (i.e. [bleeding heart] emo = laughingstock. or something like that.)

so what does he buy?

3 out of 5 times (okay, so i just made up that stat but hey) he will buy a cd of a band that the number of people who have heard of them is less than or equal to the fingers on your hands. why? because it looks cool. however, that answer would be too broad, and this is the real answer: you start listening to a band almost no one else knows, you tell people about it, it will generate curiosity, it will become a new trend, and you feel accomplished for having discovered gold.

of course, the average teenager will not realize that. he'll just stick with the answer of "yes, it does make me look cool."

despite that, almost all the time, he will get into the music he chose to listen to, but deep down it's a forced feeling, and almost all the time, when he hears once more the music he gave up, it'll be like a sort of homecoming reunion that he's not gonna drop those songs just yet, before going back to ol' pretentious, nonconforming him.

wait, there's a term for these people. ah, yes. poser. however, i am above such terms, though such people do exist, trust me.

anyway.

be it for the reason that you are trying to look good, or you are into bands no one else knows, or you hate pop, the thing is, nonconformity (at least in music trends, i'm not sure about other trends) is starting to become the new conformity, whether it is intentional or not. i've noted such a trend, and it did emerge passively.

i'm not saying that this is necessarily a bad thing - well, maybe it is for those who don't like being called conformists - but what it does is create an amusing paradox, that goes like this: if you are a nonconformist, then you would have to be a conformist now - but being a conformist defies the definition of nonconformity.

so what are you?

anyway, there is a corollary (for lack of a better word) to all this, which i'll talk about in the next post. enjoy.

tormented and torn apart

i've never been the type to relentlessly plague my friends with my problems. it's either my pride, respect, or both, but i don't like bothering them with my whining unless it's something deadly serious. in fact, there's only one person so far who i pour everything to, but even then i get all conscious that she might find it all a bit too much.



so far, she hasn't, bless her heart.



this may come back to bite my ass in the future, what with keeping it all inside and such. i don't even know exactly what keeps me sane right now. i mean, i realize that it is my friends who do keep me sane when they talk to me, but what about them ropes me back to sanity?



there is a point in time wherein we think too much for our own good, friends.

if you love someone...

(from this page)

shakespeare:
if you love someone,
set her free.
if she ever comes back, she's yours,
if she doesn't, here's the poison, suicide
yourself for her.

optimist:
if you love someone,
set her free.
don't worry, she will come back.

suspicious:
if you love someone,
set her free.
if she ever comes back, ask her why.

impatient:
if you love someone,
set her free.
if she doesn't comes back within some time forget her.

patient:
if you love someone,
set her free.
if she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back.

insecure:
If you love someone
WHY IN THE FIRST PLACE SET HER FREE???

so, which is it? (more thoughtful version to come soon.)

dream, and they might come true

there is something in some dreams that make us want to stay asleep forever.



you dream of something good that happens to you, something that, theoretically, can happen in real life, but given current circumstances, won't be happening at the moment you wake up or in the very immediate future.



you curse the very moment that you're shaken back to reality, be it because of your traitorous body clock, disrespectful roommate, annoying neighbor, or whatever it was that disrupted your wonderful hibernation.



you desperately try to get back to sleep, carrying the sheer hopes of trying to weave yourself back into that wonderful scenario that was playing out before you were rudely awakened. but, alas, a different plotline presents itself, and you stand there in regret; yes, even in a dream state, your mind can be set to that.



no matter how absurd it may sound to other people, or even to yourself, deep inside your heart, you know it's the reality you want to be in, the reality you'd rather live in. so, you carry on through your day wishing that what happened inside your subconscious really happened, wishing that you can get back to that perfect sequence, feeling that same emotion that got your heartbeat racing even while asleep.



it may seem all wishful thinking, but man is allowed to wish and hope, no matter how foolish or naive it is - because deep in your heart, you know you're right.

i hope i die before i get old (...?)

it's 13 and a half hours 'til my birthday and for the second time in a row, i am not exactly hyped.

i mean, you could all understand why if this was last year - i was not here. this time around, it's a little more unusual since, technically, i have got what i need. i've got locations, i've got the time, i've got my friends (well, a good part of them); the most unusual thing i don't got is the will.

maybe because i've proven to myself that i can survive a lonely birthday. or maybe because i recently got wind of the fact that some of my friends apparently have a problem with me. or maybe because i know that if i invite all the usual people, we wouldn't be complete even if both parties wanted to attend. or maybe, just maybe, i've already bored myself with the happenings that usually surround my birthday (seeing as i've been doing this schtick for three years already and i rarely see any variation).

or maybe all of that, combined.

whatever happens tomorrow is guaranteed to be a result of a fickle whim. who knows where i'll go, what i'll do, who i'll ask to come along. just be prepared for last minute shindigs.

going back

after much self-deliberation (read: 10 minutes of wondering whether i should), i have decided to move back to my old blogger URL. this'll now be the last post under the highly successful pepseehcola name, which had a good run for the past three years.

why the decision? i felt that i needed to write without restriction, which, sadly, this domain has given me for quite some time now. why it has restricted me, i'll keep to myself.

if you don't know the old blogger address, just hang tight. ask and you shall receive, like the big book says.

i'm letting this stay here for a few days before i finally make the move, just for people to see.

and, this is it. au revoir, cola, bonjour, old friend!

won't get fooled again

with every election, there are winners and there are losers. this equation would be great and all, but in this election, there are election fraud complaints flying in like bullets from a drive-by from what seems like all the losers in the country.



i mean, come on, it's one thing to lie to the people in your campaigns, but it's a whole new ballgame when you try to discredit your opponent by negating whole municipalities of elections on bases of "vote tampering" (which i'm sure happened for you, too, you hypocritical jackass). can't our very much-maligned politicians take a damn break?



the political atmosphere here isn't helping very much in wanting to convince me to participate in any nation-making activity whatsoever, and so, my right to vote is still voluntarily forfeited. suck on that.



on the bright side, peso's getting stronger and stock market's going up.

the sounds of music

condolences to my headphones, which i've retired a couple of weeks ago. the left ear no longer plays me sweet sound, and the cushions won't say on for more than a day.



it served me well when i needed them, whenever i needed to space out for a bit. sure, they cut me off from the rest of the world whenever i turned them up, but it was damn worth it. now i have to resort to using my laptop speakers, since my rather old edifiers here are starting to distort sound. my sony earphones are now officially owned by my brothers, so i can't use them.



the omniscient and the wise sir joseph guzman told us once that earphones guaranteed the death of social interaction. now, that would be true if everyone in the world had earphones, but no, people still recognize common courtesy and the importance of when to take 'em off. though, he did say that when we were all tuned in to our own sounds.



either way, i need new ear/headphones, preferrably the latter, and preferrably with comfy cushions for the ear, like my old ones. i can't listen to music around here without people telling me to turn it down, and i don't roll like that.

point to ponder

"there's a trick to the Graceful Exit. it begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, a relationship is over - and to let go. it means leaving what's over without denying its validity or its past importance in our lives.



it involves a sense of the future, a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving on, rather than out.



the trick of retiring well may be the trick of living well. it's hard to recognize that life isn't a holding action, but a process. it's hard to learn that we don't leave the best parts of ourselves behind, back in the dugout or the office. we own what we learned back there. the experiences and the growth are grafted onto our lives. and when we exit, we can take ourselves along - quite gracefully."

- ellen goodman, reader's digest june 1984

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why don't you all f-fade away?

like i have stated over and over again in this very particular blog (and i'm sure some of you are already sick of it), i have no interest whatsoever in politics.



85% of the people running the country and running so that they can run the country right now are useless. when i say "useless", i actually mean "nothing good and/or new is happening to this country while they're in office". look, nothing's in peace. squabbles and corruption pollute the government.



that's why i withdrew all my faith in most of them old folks and put it all in our generation. we've got a generation full of budding leaders that clearly spell out and are all about "progress", and while you're at it, "morals". we don't plan on stealing taxpayers' money, we plan on raising these 7,000 islands out of the shit it's currently buried waist-deep in.



i forfeit, that's damn right, i forfeit my right to vote until i see people i actually, personally know on billboards and commercials, because i know they're worth the publicity and the hype. it may seem like blind optimism to you but i've got good reason to hold on to it until i'm proven horrendously wrong.



and in ending this, let me quote the timeless roger daltrey: "i'm not tryin' to cause a b-big s-s-sensation, i'm just talkin' 'bout my g-g-generation."



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we thought we could change this world with words like "love" and "freedom"

it's almost sunday already. how quickly time flies, but i'm not having fun.



if only you can walk through time. if only you can undo your wrongs. if only you can unsay words.



but if we could, then we would not know the feeling of regret. we would not make mistakes and therefore learn from them. we would become shallow.



but then... we would not have wounds that have lasting scars. we would not feel pain, and we would know only happiness.



what is more important, then? wisdom or happiness?

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beautiful ink

i recently came to the conclusion that i write better... things with a pen and paper instead of a keyboard. maybe it's the concept of writing longhand, just scribbling away in a piece of paper, crossing out a passage here and just plain letting the pen work on autopilot that inspires me.



or maybe i was inspired by edge and his book. oh, here i go again - let me stop myself before i start with that.



when i came back last june, i wrote test essays and other written assignments differently than i did before, which carried on to all those yearbook write-ups i wrote (and because of that style i won praise from my classmates during the retreat) until the advent of the bittersweet undertaking that was the lcle.



since we weren't required to give much actual thought in answering all those damn worksheets, my skills deteriorated as the second term passed by, until i realized that i can't write anymore like how i wanted to write before, when i was making them write-ups.



so, let me pick up a pen and let me find a good-looking piece of paper, and i'm about to set forth on confessing a little madness in my life.

hey, what's your name, baby, maybe we can see things the same

have you ever woken up in the morning, turned on your radio, iPod, or what have you, and the first song you heard would not only instill energy into your sleepy soul but set the mood for the rest of the day?

seems like i just took the opening lines of boston's more than a feeling, but you know, such cliches are sometimes true.

it's funny how it works, right? you hear something like queen's it's a beautiful day or the who's won't get fooled again and suddenly the rest of the world is on an upper.

music, and what it does to the human mind - now there's something that should be given more study, so that our psychologists aren't just set for life with the notion that only classical music (by Bach, to be specific) can relax the brain and any other kind of music (i.e. rock, and just about any kind of music that plays to one's emotions) just upsets it and even dumbs you down. sometimes, such studies are clouded by personal preferences.

may you wake up more to the music of your soul.

music much maligned

picture this.

you're sleeping soundly late into the morning, dreaming about the girl you like, just plain dozing off. it's quiet in your room, with only the aircon softly buzzing, but that does nothing to wake you up. you're halfway through your dream when suddenly, in your sleeping state, you hear the first few notes of a somewhat decent-produced song blaring from a megaphone, piercing the silence and bringing you to a state of being half-asleep. it's not the ice cream man, you think, while half-asleep, the song isn't simple. you then hear a familiar name thrown in amongst lyrics that heap loads of praise at someone you couldn't care less about.

you finally figure it out: this is a campaign jingle. you wake up, frustrated that the song rudely awakened you and you can't get back to sleep because, well, you're up.

honestly, philippines, is this what the so-called elections for your so-called government have come to? as if the tv ads, radio commercials, and endless flyers weren't enough, politicians are now tapping into the resource of music and turning songs that aren't already novelty into one more for the masa.

it was tolerable before. i mean, only the bigwigs used jingles, but emphasis was placed on advertisements. now, everyone and their mother who's running for office now has their very own jingle, either original or bastardized, and they're not afraid to send a truck to go around town and play the song as if anyone actually wants to listen. the really bad part about this phenomenon is that everyone, even those who are running for positions that no one really knew existed or gave a rat's ass about are apparently important enough to warrant their very own jingle.

it's as if this strategy was brought about by the concept of whoever has the most catchy tune gets the most votes. honestly, if that was true, then the state of the philippines is something to feel sorry about. but that's not the case. i know the filipino is smarter than that. LSS is not, should not, and will not be a means of winning elections.

don't even get me started on my personal tastes. one such politician butchered crazy little thing called love and i don't think what he's running for is that important.

i'm still waiting for the day when flash and flamboyance finally takes a back seat to true credibility in philippine politics. showmanship belongs to the arts, not the science of running a country. right now, the flash dominates the whole show, leaving substance as a lot to be imagined. this is why i refuse to participate in the elections until our generation takes over. at least, for the time being, that holds some sort of promise.

and for the record, the only politician who is worthy enough for the right to having a campaign jingle is president ramon magsaysay.

shifting gears

in his book, edge recounts the story of how he, still as a young amateur working independent shows, watched a live taping of a talk show that had bret hart as the guest. edge asked bret, "how do you get better?" bret shared a good piece of advice that edge adheres to and would like to share with the next generation, one piece of advice that i'm currently taking good heed of:

"get experience."

and by making the jump from school orchestra to the local city band, that's one hell of a vault of experience right there. i'm grateful that the melvin is joining me in this endeavor.

we don't move in any particular direction

call me unusual, but i hold the belief that college education is overrated. now, before you roast me on a spit, let me say something in stark contrast: i can't wait for the college experience. i just think that what we learn inside a classroom, from listening to a professor is quite overrated. it's because of this that i'm still not a big fan of the concept of going to college. (i'm just going for the experience and for my pride.)

someone, i don't remember who, has told me before that we won't use a good part of what we learn inside a college classroom.

look at the choices for courses right now. most of them are just silly (to me) hodgepodges of titles of professions that don't interest me whatsoever. maybe it's just my preference, but i'm really not a big fan of economics, business, polsci, or accounting, so therefore i laugh (secretly, yet not condescendingly) at people who consider such choices. (sorry, guys. i'm a big fan of science, though.) sure, they make the world go round, but i'd rather leave that to other people who are willing. i have no time for such trivialities.

my NCAE results tell me that my occupational field of interest is artistic; at least they finally got one thing right. (though my entrepeneurial skill is a good 98. o diba.) so, yeah, you guys can have all the accounting or business management your hearts desire.

wise men say, "only fools rush in"

x-posted from my lj.

So, as the "corollary", as my brother leiron put it, to my best friend's post, I'll post my Top 10 Songs the Pope Has To Hear [Immediately].

However, my list almost doesn't look anything like his, and is more concentrated on a smaller number of artists.

And so, it begins:

10. Chicago - Does Anyone Really Know What Time It Is?
From the album The Chicago Transit Authority

"Does anybody really know what time it is? / Does anybody really care? / If so I can't imagine why / We've all got time enough to cry"

This song is here to let the Pope know that rock songs are not just emotional, but also socially conscious. So, does anybody really know what time it is?

9. Audioslave - Show Me How To Live
From the album Audioslave

"Nail in my hand / From my creator / You gave me life / Now show me how to live"

A song sung by a lost soul. What is life when you don't know how to live it? So you turn and ask how to live.

8. Roger Taylor/Queen - Heaven for Everyone
From the album Shove It/Made In Heaven

"This could be heaven for everyone / This world could be fed, this world could be fun / This could be heaven for everyone / This world could be free, this world could be one"

Like another Queen song goes, "peace on earth, and an end to war." World peace, everyone. Oh, how Satanic the message!

7. Eagles - Learn To Be Still
From the album Hell Freezes Over

"We are like sheep without a shepherd / We don't know how to be alone / So we wander 'round this desert / And wind up following the wrong gods home"

We, as a people, are never satisfied with what we have, admit it or not. This is why we constantly complain, constantly wish for something more, in turn, constantly forsaking what we already have. Dear Pope, could you get that from any "Satanic" rock band?

6. The Who - A Man in a Purple Dress
From the album Endless Wire

"How dare you be the one to assess / Me in this godforsaken mess / You, a man in a purple dress / A man in a purple dress"

Okay, maybe not the best song to play for the Pope, but it's one of the most humbling. The song questions why people have to be of cloth just to be called men of God. More like, why do we have to listen to the Pope when he says all rock is bad?

5. Queen - Jesus
From the album Queen

"Then came a man before His feet he fell / Unclean said the leper and rang his bell / Felt the palm of a hand touch his head / Go now go now you're a new man instead / All going down to see the Lord Jesus"

This one I'm sure His Holiness will like. It's a pretty straightforward song, made up of parts of the Gospel. I can imagine it now: "But the lead singer's gay!"

4. The Beatles - All You Need Is Love
From the album Magical Mystery Tour

"All you need is love, love / love is all you need."

Now if the Beatles were "demonic", all instances of the word "love" would be replaced with "war".

3. Eagles - The Last Resort
From the album Hotel California

"Some rich men came and raped the land, / Nobody caught 'em / Put up a bunch of ugly boxes, and Jesus, / people bought 'em"

The demonic band is telling us that we're raping the Earth. However, a true demonic band would encourage us, not warn us.

2. The Who - Two Thousand Years
From the album Endless Wire

"Two thousand years / Have I waited / To ask if I have loved you /To know if I have served you / To find if I've obeyed you / To know if I've betrayed you"

A song somewhat from Judas's point of view. It's a kind of song that makes theologians think: did Judas really betray Jesus or was it all part of Jesus's intricate plan to save all humanity by dying for us? He also has to wait another two thousand years for people to actually think about that explanation, since, you know, medieval thinking is quite narrow-minded.

1. Queen - Somebody to Love
From the album A Day at the Races

"I get down on my knees and start to pray / Till the tears run down from my eyes / Lord, somebody, somebody / Please can anybody find me, somebody to love?"

I wonder what got the Pope thinking that all of rock is evil. Sure, you hear one anti-Christ song and you apparently hear them all singing the same song. But this is not the case, friends! Of all the band's catalogue I have never heard a song that sang about the devil. No, in fact, Somebody to Love is actually a prayer in itself.

If anyone has anything to add, feel free.

losing my edge

one summer night, after watching RV (jojoooo...) we went into a nearby borders (for the uninitiated, that's a chain of bookstores in the US). funny thing is that while borders is indeed a bookstore, they sell music cds as well. however, that's not my point.

so i went to the store's second floor and quickly found the books about wrestlers. (it's annoying how our bookstores don't have a lot of books in that genre.) browsing through the autobiographies of HHH, shawn michaels, eddie guerrero (which i vow to purchase when i return to the US), and ric flair, i thought i would never find what i was looking for, until...

i found it, sitting there in the shelf, lost in other books, what seemed to be the last copy of "adam copeland on edge", edge's autobiography! it was in paperback (i always wanted it hardbound) but what the hell, who cares!

once i found the book i could not drop it. i immediately went out and bought it. i was enthralled with it, and quickly found that the book's reviews were indeed true - it was fresh and down-to-earth, complimented by edge's writing style that is witty and untainted by technology (he wrote the whole thing in longhand, on paper). it was full of euphemisms and similes that just plain amused the hell out of me. trust me, it's a good read and i'd be willing to lend it to anyone who's interested.

the book would become my bible for the rest of the summer, eventually becoming the inspiration for my own writing style, before it was blunted by hundreds of essays on quizzes and long tests. (i used the "candid" writing style on every test that had an essay part back then... and then LCLE happened.)

and now, i want to incorporate that style again. summer is the time. i've got to practice and keep reading new material from edge, thanks to his blog which i've just discovered tonight. it's now.

'til then, friends.

turmowil

i know i turn 18 next year, but let me just say: when i do, i'm not gonna register myself as a voter.

i know political apathy is a bad thing, but i'm a pretty laid-back kinda guy and politics just stresses me out, especially with the political atmosphere here in the philippines - full of liars, thieves, and cheaters. let me tell you that the only liar, thief and cheater i adore is named eddie guerrero.

i will probably be like this until our generation takes over. i mean, until the system doesn't change, until the old folks remain on top, there will be little, if any, good change in this country. sadly, for one good person in government there are a hell of a lot more people taking money that is supposedly for the country.

haay, politics. there are better things to worry about in life.

radio ga ga

Thank you for your comments about DWLS and we commend your loyalty and patronage of its former format. The decision to change our programming was based on research studies and was driven by the objective of reaching a bigger audience. As a matter of fact, DWLS has lost a significant amount of revenue from advertisers who were supportive of the previous format. GMA Network is absorbing that revenue loss only because it is in exchange for providing more listeners with programming that research shows they prefer. We respect and thank you for your strong disagreement with our decision but we hope that it will somehow be tempered by your knowing that DWLS now provides listening fun to more listeners. And we certainly hope and wish for you to continue enjoying radio no matter what station you listen to.

All the best.

Mike Enriquez
GMA Network, Inc.
Senior Vice-President For Radio

of course, the need to reach bigger audiences is due to the need for more revenue. it's always been that way, hasn't it?

why can't they be the rock in a raging river and stand against the flow? must they really conform with the rest of the horrible stations? what makes them think that they will attract new audiences when such audiences have already a lot of crap to choose from? their [former] loyal fanbase would account for a lot more than "new audiences".

the move to remove what was their only strength against abs-cbn was a move of stupid greed. it didn't do anything but raise even more negative sentiments towards gma. i mean, it's already considered the b-channel of the country with what used to be the a-radio station.

quoting freddie mercury, "all we hear is radio ga ga, radio blah blah."

we really need a classic rock station, folks. 96.3, 97.9, nor 107.1 (is it that? i'm not sure) isn't going to cut it. we need the pillars of rock.

at its very worst

i never thought my once-beloved campus radio could go lower than it already is.

before its format change, it used to play 70% crap and 30% good stuff. hell, before that it used to play 70% good stuff and 30% crap, and it always redeemed itself with retro jam every sunday.

now, look! it has conformed with the other horrible-as-hell radio stations. where abs-cbn was weak with its godforsaken 101.9, gma was once strong with its halfway decent top 40-format radio station. conforming to the "masa" genre does not do anything good for gma's output quality, which abs-cbn already rules over TV with.

so please, SIGN THIS PETITION! help bring back the glory that was once campus radio. we don't need another sorry excuse for a radio station.

on the other hand, why don't we have a classic rock station?

why in the hell did i jump?

it's been almost a year, but up to now, i still don't know why in the hell i jumped. maybe i was young and stupid. maybe i was desperate. maybe there was an actual, genuine spark.

whatever it was, i'm still not sure, and i still kick myself for it.

if i can't have it all, just a taste will do

one of my candy-coated weaknesses, along with my steadfast loyalty to any of my friends and my natural amiability, is my utmost desire to make the most out of every day. i believe that while you're unconscious (i.e. sleeping), you're missing out on a lot. i agree with what gliza said about sleeping early being unproductive, and that is the reason why staying up late became a habit of mine (started around my grade school graduation when i discovered chatting). since then, i feel a tinge of regret whenever i take a nap and wake up to find that three or more hours have passed (however, lately i find that a good thing due to my lack of sleep).

this is why i feel bad whenever i'm left out of something i could've been in. this is why i was so torn up between going to father and son or the lsyc retreat when both were still scheduled for the same weekend (though i cannot go to camp anymore since the schedule cannot permit us). this is why i felt bad when i heard leiron's adventures at the hotel while i was sleeping.

when you look at it closely, this kind of thing is annoyingly shallow. there is usually no point worrying about spilled milk; it just shows that i tend to think a lot about what could've been, only denying or even patronizing my own inaction - which is, in itself, not good.

maybe i just don't get my fair share of "memz lolz"? but i get a lot already, don't i? what the hell is wrong with me? maybe i'm just trying to run away from all the bad of the world by making up for it with the good.

however, that can only happen in a perfect world. you and i know that this world is far from perfect.

why falling in love is so goddamn hard

after days of deserved incessant prodding from suji, i finally wrote another article for the damned cl magazine, about romantic love. for some reason, i went about writing the article in the writing style i had when i came back from the states (which i was praised for in the retreat and which i seemed to have lost over time). just thought i'd share it with you.

The Trouble With Love Is…

It’s already February, and the scenario is unsurprisingly common in the month of love; a guy or girl “falls” head over heels “in love” with someone who is hopefully of the opposite sex, goes to great lengths to win that person over, and depending on Cupid’s mood, either gets the ending he/she wants or ends up dumbfounded in the middle of the street. Now, assuming that said person got the “bad ending”, he or she will easily dismiss it and forget his or her object of affection the next day, as if he or she did not go through anything at all.

This is where the most important question of a hormonal adolescent comes up into the equation: where does one draw the line between infatuation and true love?

It’s all too common to see teenagers declaring their “love” for another, and rather rare to see people acknowledging infatuation itself. Most get so wrapped up in their own emotions and passion that it automatically registers as love love in their psyches, but will find out soon enough that it isn’t the case, usually after when that infatuation fades away quickly as it came.

So where does one draw the line? Is it when one’s emotions for someone transcend the barrier of stomach butterfly-inducing looks? Is it when one is willing to look past faults that would usually make another person turn his head the other way? Whatever it is, most young people don’t know what it is – but they should know, and while they don’t, they will continually make a fool of themselves saying that they are “deeply in love” with someone when they are a few cards short of love’s full deck.

So what should one do?

The solution to that is actually a really simple one: stop, think, and take small steps. In a normal situation, no one is forcing anyone to have a relationship or anything – it’s all in the head. Once one starts thinking and reevaluating his or her true intent, he or she might find that his or her feelings of “deep romantic love” may actually lack the conviction it needs.

Now, if anyone who’s “madly in love” would actually take the time and do this, we’d have lesser love problems in the world

opm blues part 2

i was listening to 101.9 this afternoon (like i had any choice in the matter), and thus, i got to listen to today's latest, for the lack of a better word, crap. yes, friends, when i say "crap" in this entry, i talk about the rest of the genre that is original pilipino music. (why "rest of the genre"? there are some really good bands amidst the anarchy... hence, "diamonds in the rough").

it was then that i noticed a particular annoying common denominator, which happens to be what is dragging down the genre right now.

have you noticed that 95% of all opm songs talk about nothing but love, in all its common and obvious forms? declaration of love, loss of love, wanton breakups, they're all the same, singing about love this and love that.

it's what makes 6cyclemind and cueshe horribly redundant and stale, and what makes bamboo, rivermaya, and sandwich unique. rivermaya, despite oft-repeating the equally annoying theme of patriotism (which bamboo also does likewise, but to a certain extent), knows when to sing about something else, a skill bamboo and sandwich masterfully wield at the same time.

at a minor tangent, 6cyclemind is horribly repetitive with similar themes, both lyrically and musically. i already know what to expect from their lead singer whose voice is horribly stale as well.

the thing that makes radioactive sago project special is that they don't immediately hand over the meaning of their songs in a silver spoon; the challenge for you is to find out what the hell exactly are they going on about. however, when cueshe announces that they have a new single or album, you know immediately that it will be full of whining.

the industry cannot progress if you'll all be going on about the same thing - it will make the whole pool stale. take some advice; sing about something else, sing about trivial things, sing about the state of society, sing about a psychological disorder, sing about a bad habit, sing with random lyrics inserted into jam sessions, i don't care what you sing about - as long as it's not love.

afflicted

i just made a startling discovery about myself today.

i realized, while half-asleep, that i snore really loudly.

i mean, sure, my best friend told me that i snored during her LSYC retreat, but i thought that was just the quiet, restrained sort of snoring. however, i was half-asleep this afternoon when i heard my thunderous snoring!

if anything, i am ashamed of it. i abhorred justin's snoring because it barely helped me to sleep in the car, and now i'm afflicted with it. my prior knowledge (eeew LCLE term) of loud snoring tells me that fat people and sick people are stricken with loud snoring, and to look on the bright side, at least i'm getting fatter. :))

anyway, my eagles addiction has turned into a queen addiction. like i said, my musical tastes change like the ebbing of the tides.

hello, young lovers, wherever you are

any high school student will tell you that prom season rolls along with valentine season. it's naturally the season of love and couples [who haven't been around for the rest of the school year] are springing up.

like i said in my post titled "somebody to love", this category excludes me (and negs). this year, both my brothers have relationships! (that's a first, and i'm quite proud of that.) as for me, the raison this year is that i deliberately choose not to shackle myself to a commitment, rather than the fact that there is no one to commit to. (to give myself a bit of an ego-boost, if i wanted a commitment now, i would already be in one.)

of course, this is my present mindset until if ever fate decides to play her wild card and make me fall madly in love with someone.

which i really doubt, but there's always that risk. =))

death in eight letters

you can build up all the facades you want to build in your life, but you are a dead man if you let the things that attack your inner self get to you. like, for example, paranoia.

it gets the best of us, that nagging fear in the back of your mind, twisting your everyday routine and spinning a web of worry. my particular kind of paranoia is the kind that makes me think whether someone is mad at me or not.

a simple fleeting gesture, or the lack thereof, can be misconstrued by someone as a gesture of ill will, and it's the mark of either an insecure mind or an unstable relationship. what someone says or doesn't say, does or doesn't do can be misconstrued.

and damn, it's driving me crazy. i spend needless minutes and hours worrying about something that shouldn't be worried about; something that's just all in my twisted head. what kind of a man does that make me? knowing that, who can truly define me, and what is my true description? does that unravel my confident eminence front?

i really need to get a grip on life sometimes... i always vow to throw away the needless baggage, but end up keeping them.

war in peace

i'm talking to bea right now and she's talking about wanting peace on earth. i was going to make a joke about being miss universe, but she said something so i had to reply to that. anyway, so after she said that peace on earth line, i got to thinking: "do i want peace on earth?"

of course i do.

but the problem is that, yeah, it's supposed to begin with you, but i can't even start peace! i don't know if i'm subliminally or deliberately making war, but the fact of the matter is i'm not a harbinger of peace myself, even if i wanted to be. i mean, look. i'm in a feud right now with one of my classmates, while his cronies are grinding their teeth at me, but not joining in the feud.

so, yes, i want peace on earth... but i can't seem to achieve it. it seems that i get into some beef sooner or later. it's actually funny that as my senior year ends, the fights start to spring up. no worries; i'm ready.

life in the fast lane

(this is not a post about graduation - read closely!)

time goes by so fast.

like my nigga said, it was just like yesterday when i came back for [what is hopefully] my final round. it seems like yesterday when we graduated from grade school and entered what is now the fully-explored world of high school.

the final frontier is almost upon us.

i honestly cannot believe that we're grown up already. my two sisters are not what they used to be when i first came across them. most of my batchmates underwent radical transformations over the four-year time period. it seems like yesterday when both froques and rod were still fat. it seems like yesterday since our band tagaytay excursion. it seems like yesterday when i was still standing at around 5'3". people have changed so much since the old memories i have of them.

nostalgia is a good thing, and maybe i'm tired of the present already. maybe that's why i draw upon and cherish the past more. they were the good times, weren't they? you could do anything without people giving a damn about you.

i still can't fathom it. people have changed so much, both inside and outside. and guess what - they're still changing, and like i told johann (albeit in a different context), "i'm not used to it."

maybe i just miss our old selves.

got a feeling '07 is gonna be a good year

happy new year!

i don't know if you could say that this blog is still "going strong", but i have a lot of faith in it and i think that i can get it back to its former glory just by keeping it alive. hell, if eddie guerrero (God rest his soul, and we miss you a lot) can do it with his life, i can do it with my blog! so, let's roll with the new year!

year-end notes

if i could call any one of the 16 years of my life a whirlwind, i would have to pick 2006. (so far.) why? it's all too obvious.

i entered this year knowing fully that i wouldn't be in the same place to enter the next year. when the time came for me to leave, i didn't want to go, but i accepted it anyway, knowing that my dreams will finally be fulfilled in the land of milk and honey.

while i was there, i had a nagging feeling that i'd be ending this year back at home. i'm not sure if it was rebellious optimism or a plain nagging feeling in the back of my head, but there was this some measure of certainty about my "prediction". and, lo and behold, all the teary goodbyes i had early in the summer were nullified, my pride was sorta shot down, and we had to go back home, 2 and a half weeks into the school year. luckily i didn't miss much, and luckily i didn't have to introduce myself to my adviser, who would turn out to be my omnipresent second father, sir lasap (nonoy is the third... no, he happens to be more of a kuya). senior-c happily welcomed me into their ranks. i haven't a tinge of regret for every moment with them, ever since.

the whole irony of it all is that once i got back, it didn't take too long for me to decide that the place for me was the states. i mean, come on, i couldn't realize my dream back home. i could only pioneer the industry at home when i was well-established. no, i have to go back soon. the second stint here at home shouldn't last well beyond graduation.

and things got muddied up along the way - plans are unsure, but i'm hoping for the best. 2006 was an adventure for me, and now i'm looking forward to the big '07.

cheers!

songs half sung

christmas caroling has lost all its former glory - at least it has, here in the Philippines.

its original premise of bringing about christmas cheer to each house in the neighborhood has taken a back seat to the shady, underhanded goal of making a quick peso. if, in the states, a well-organized troupe of singing children, adults, or both get to sing a good repertoire of
christmas carols, here in the Philippines, anyone, mostly streetchildren, will go right up to you in the street or in your church parking lot and half-heartedly sing you the undying "sa may
bahaaayyy...". they deserve a peso or lower for such acts. but since i'm such a softie, they get a minimum of five pesos from me.

i think caroling should have a rating system - i mean, you get plus points (more money) for effort. i mean, it's so easy to sing a song using a slightly improved version of your normal speaking voice - therefore, it's so easy to just hand you five pesos. and we all know
how much five pesos amounts to nowadays.

and isn't it annoying on how the money becomes an automatic off switch? i mean, once they get
their hands on it, they stop singing. the good carolers finish off their repertoire before leaving, and trust me, we rarely get good carolers.

please, give caroling the dignity it once had and has in other countries. going out and giving money to those who are literally begging for it, despite how good or bad they sing, has become
a chore for me, instead of an opportunity to be really entertained.

the sun shines, people forget

i'm pissed at my parents because they stereotype blacks.

yes, they stereotype blacks. i don't want to call it downright racism yet, though.

they don't want to move to somewhere in the States with a high population count of the said "minority". they don't want me to go to a college with black kids. why, you ask? apparently, black people are "too violent", which is the picture painted by gangsta rap and gang violence.

yes, tupac and biggie smalls did die of drive-bys. yes, the crips are a notorious african-american gang. but hell, that's just the outside! come on, a crime of one person does not equal to a crime of the whole race. just because they're unfairly associated with violence does not mean that every african-american is violent. hell, i want a black best friend! (aside from negs, that is.)

it's not fair. i get annoyed when they talk about blacks with such a negative connotation. they're trying to avoid them like a plague. it's just not fair.

all i've got here is my pride

if you ask anyone who knows me about what i'm like, one of the things they'll tell you is that i'm proud - sometimes too proud for my own good. and some people will say that sometimes, or most of the time, it gets to my head.

yeah, sure, i've accepted that definition of me; in fact, i endorse it. i say, too much pride is better than an absolute zero confidence.

that doesn't mean i'm not humble, though; in fact, lately i've learned to give the spotlight to those who truly deserve it, telling them to "savor the moment", because in all honesty, they really should if they deserve to. i acknowledge bragging rights to those who have them.

i seriously think that pride is a key human element. you just can't allow people to walk all over you and your pride - without even just a little sense of pride, you'd be no better off than an animal. you are a human being, you have good qualities somewhere in there, and it's your job to take those good qualities and display them like the trophies they are. just don't overdo it.

as for me, i inherited my overflowing pride from my parents, most especially my father - he's just a very accomplished man, and the stories he tells about his own father make me feel that i'm part of a legacy that is, to quote my idol, reeking with awesomeness. i also have great company and they contribute to my pride and confidence. i also have dreams; the career path i dream of taking requires me to always keep my chin up.

so, there. take your pride, stick it where the sun shines, and make sure to back it up always.

eloquence

lately i've been talking in speeches.

whether i'm proving a point or just making fun of someone, i break into a speech. it's not your typical martin luther king jr. speech, but more of a "wrestler-inside-the-ring" speech. i think it's fun, and good training for the future. who knows if i'll make it as someone's manager - it's as likely as being a 'rassler itself.

in other news, the soujourn in the warbirds' nest was really fun. one warbird is in trouble, and the others must back him up.

level up

experience, the wonderful thing we gain as we live life day to day, is meant to be cherished and remembered. experience teaches you things that might come in handy in the future, because experience is easily considered by many to be the best teacher around (next to sir cortel, that is). a wise person is wise because of experience.

so why didn't zobel, or rather, its administration, in all their wisdom, learn from experience?

two years ago, a learning system known as the LCLE, where a certain topic is integrated into almost everything, was snuck past us and shoved down our throats for a trial run. it was unanimously decided that it never worked and no one, student nor teacher, liked it at all. sure, we were sports and decided to give it a try back then, but only because we did not know que horror.

so everyone got a brief respite last year. we thought that was the end of it.

but no. despite initial negative reactions, the Great Minds^TM that run zobel have soldiered on and further insist to shove the much-maligned system down our throats once more, this time in full force. here we are back again to the many complaints, whines, and death threats that the horrible system has spawned, and i agree to each complaint without hesitation.

we have given it ample time to try and make converts out of us, but that didn't work back then and it doesn't seem to be working now.

rumors go around of teachers planning to quit because of the sheer stupidity of LCLE, and there's been already one confirmed report (i won't tell you who it is, though). no one wants to use it, no one wants to do it. it's simple.

to The Powers That Be^TM, are you blind? deaf? do you not hear the groans of your students? do you not see the utter disdain on their faces? what exactly is it do you plan to prove?

mr. evp has lost all credibility amongst the student population. that, my friends and readers, is a fact, and not false slander. this won't be the last thing you're gonna hear from me about this issue; nay, this is just the beginning.

i dare you to come get some.

big III

today marks the last CET out of the three i'll be taking here in the philippines, if you don't count SATs (by the way, i need help on this one...in all my wisdom, i have no damned idea how to set myself up to take the SATs. somehow and unfortunately, i have become dependent on ms. isidro). out of the big three, UP was the one wherein i went all-out, because i couldn't care less whether i pass or fail green and/or blue.

why is this the case? so that if ever the 2% chance of me not leaving after all completely owns the other 98%, i'd be in the school i really wanted to be in before i realized that i want to make it abroad.

there could be a million reasons why that might happen; either paperwork gets through or because of obligations i must remain dedicated to (right now, such obligations are nonexistent). a lot can change in the course of a year, much less a number of months; this is exemplified in wrestling, wherein we may never know if DX could split up next month or someone like randy orton might become champion from under our noses next week.

as jr says in one of his most famous lines, "anything can happen in the WWE!"

oh, i've gone on too much again =)) technically, we can replace "the WWE" with "life". you never know if you're going to survive to see tomorrow (but of course, there's a high chance you will) or you never know if i'm going to end up with a new girl this time next week. (hmm... do i even want to?)

ah, well. 'til next we meet, kinsmen.

dementia paradox

i've discovered that i've been quite forgetful lately.

i think of something to do or say, but just distract me, throw me off-tangent even for a while and i lose it. "ano nga ulit yung sasabihin ko?" seems to be my new catchphrase. sure, i will get it back after a few seconds or minutes, but the mere fact that i forget what it was i wanted to do or say scares me. what if it worsens? what if i get alzheimer's when i grow old?

funny thing is that my brain allows me to reach far back into my childhood and deep into the recesses of my mind to dig up trivia, but i can't even remember what i was thinking about five seconds ago.

if i'm getting alzheimer's, i'd rather that it comes as an after-effect of 20-foot leaps, not something that's slowly taking over from out of nowhere. ah, well.

dreams come true

as i was waiting for my dial-up to finally allow me access to their network, i opened up notepad and wrote a short essay. this is filed under "for-those-who-don't-know".


I think I'm really strange.

Not the freaky, unusual, odd-one-out kind of strange; more like the strange wherein you're pretty normal but you're a little different than everyone else. Or maybe that's just plainly being unique. I'm not so sure about that, but as far as I know, I'm sure I'm different in a bizarre way.

Every one of my peers dreams to be successful, whether being a businessman, computer scientist or something that involves sitting around in a plush, air-conditioned office pushing paper full of technical jargon. Not me. Sure, I want to be successful, but just not like that. No. I, good sir, I want to wrestle.

Yes, you read it right. I want to wrestle.

The art (it can't rightfully be called a sport) of wrestling first got my attention early in my life, then finally got me hooked in the middle of my teens. It was, at first, more of a, "Hey, that's awesome!" thing to see on TV, until finally I realized, disregarding all those "Don't try this at home" warnings complete with brutal clips of injured wrestlers, that, "Hey, I can do this!" Then the rest became history and I was known to be the wrestling addict (among other things). To get a glimpse of how addicted I was to it, nothing else but wrestling could distract me from the opposite sex.

Basically, it all started with Edge's comeback spear in early, post-Wrestlemania XX 2004. I had been watching Goldberg do it a thousand times before he left but the way he did it never really caught my attention. No, it was with Edge. The whole simplicity yet notable impact of the move became clear to me as this tall, lean, long-haired blonde ran, leapt, and nailed the Bisch in the abdomen. Then I started doing it and threatening people with it (sparingly, of course) until I came to be associated with it.

After "mastering" it, I started to do other things. Leg drops, elbow drops, clotheslines, the basic striking stuff. Looking at my body size, I knew I couldn't get by with relying too much on power moves, so I decided to try out into a more submission-oriented style. I did leglocks (I could proudly show you a figure-four and make the guy scream in pain), ankle locks, armbars, STFs, half and full-nelsons, and the like. Then I found out I could lift my youngest brother, who was notably a lot heavier than I was, to some extent. Feeble spinebusters, sidewalk slams, a rather weak body slam (I couldn't lift him beyond my chest), moves that might come across as chokeslams, things like that. I also began to practice my frontflip/somersault, through which I slowly learned to get over my fear of pain. Of course, I worked out to get in some sort of shape, at the very least.

And damn, I am hooked. I seriously didn't care about the dangers of trying it at home. I didn't care much about pain (at least, I try not to). I dream of following in the footsteps of daredevils such as Edge, Christian, the Hardy Boyz, and Shelton Benjamin, and in those of the master showmen like Eddie Guerrero (God bless his soul), Shawn Michaels, Triple H, and Ric Flair. I dream of wrestling a five-star classic, and I don't care how it happens, whether it's by jumping off of 20-foot ladders or putting on a good 30-minute show.

I want it so bad, I'm willing to go through hell for it. I don't care if the dream sounds too childish.

i suck at endings.

time is on my side

whenever i read fiction about time travel, i can't help but get lost in my own thoughts about how it happens. how come we can go back to a past or forward to a future that is ever-continuing and ever-happening? doesn't time flow just once, or does it have a cycle, much like water?

is there a sub-dimension for every moment that allows it to happen forever, so that we can go to it with some sort of time travel mechanism and alter it? if not for each moment, for each period, decade, or era?

what about the possibility of fractured time? about the difference of time's movement in certain areas? that would make time a dimension, wouldn't it?

but really... is time linear, or not?

(time spiral, i want you now.)

observations

this is a wonderful time to note the power of the blogosphere.

r.i.p. steve irwin. we'll all miss you.

two years. two years!

as of wednesday, this blog has been living for two years now. i was too busy to post on the day of the anniversary itself.

and i'd like to say, what a long way this blog has come. a really long way from the brash style of my young and carefree days. a really long way since the times of insulting teachers. (time teaches you things.) over time and with the advent of lj, this blog has slowly but surely shifted to the deep-thinking, opinionated (wait, it's always been opinionated), essay-ish form you see now. (but at times, trust me to write something personal, either openly or in a cryptic way.)

i also think that i lost some of the old, signature pepi wit (but the law of conservation of mass dictates that the lost wit went to my lj) with my unofficial preference of livejournal. i now aim to reclaim that wit in my future posts.

so, get it through your head, boys and girls; this blog is a long way from dying out. here's to even more years of deep thought to come.

cheers!

seniori-tah

brother leiron posted an entry about seniority in his LJ (it's friends-only, so not everyone can get to read it). the gist of it is, we seniors believe in seniority so much, but are we really that worthy of that privilege? some may use it just to have their way (in a totalitarianish fashion). after a compelling discussion with brother negs about the use of seniority as an excuse for getting into fights with lowerclassmen, the gears in my brain started up. then i went to blog.

recognizing seniority bluntly means respect. why? we have trudged through 12 years of studying in this school. simply put, this is our last dance, we're torn between leaving and staying, and every senior batch should be highly regarded for braving the storm.

we're old geezers. treat us like you would treat other old geezers.

while we're at peace, we will treat you like one of us. it's only when you cross us that things will turn sour. leiron says if we want to have their respect, we have to earn it. 10+ years of loyalty and braving the school are enough credentials for respect.

don't fight us, and we won't fight you. don't malign us, and we won't harm you. it's that simple, actually.

i guess the bottom line is, we're not asking for god-like idolatry here. we're asking for mutual respect, yet with a really little tiny bit of the former. we, or at least i, won't use the word "seniority" as an excuse to spear the hell out of someone. no, i'm better than that. but if some lowerclassman starts the fight, then it's fair game.

school peace, y'all.

panic!

if you would look at the lyrics of "i write sins, not tragedies" closely, there is a moral.

wala lang. hi allie! :P

props

normally, when i hear recent songs under the genre opm, i want to change the radio station. the "new breed", including the latest overplayed songs by callalily and frio (what the fuck is up with your names? callalily is such a sissy name... and your album, destination xyz? are you sure you didn't take a page off of coldplay?), is downright annoying, with everyone trying so hard to sound foreign, with bland yet no doubt inspired rock, (okay, okay, it's a necessary evil) yet ending up falling flat on their faces.

but.

yes, there's a but. magical, isn't it?

but there is a diamond in the rough. kala's "jeepney" is a breath of fresh air, quoting paula abdul, from the stagnant waters that is today's opm. i love its jazz influences (i don't know if i could call it jazz, though... drowsiness is getting to me) and the lead singer's voice fits the song, while probably sounding horrible in other genres.

unless i'm terribly mistaken, (and if i am, please tell me) this is kala's only single as of now so i don't know if their record will be full of the same sounds that defined their "jeepney". hopefully it will, since kala's got something good, something fresh going on. i advise them not to waste it.

on a condescending note, imago's "tara let's" is just plain inane. good voice, but the song is inane.

regarding this blog

it's nearing the two-year anniversary, but things have changed since then.

a year ago this blog was full of life. when i say life, i mean comments were everywhere. now, i said that comments should not be a standard of site traffic, but sometimes, it's the only standard you've got. there's a big difference between just going to this site and reading this site. now i want to know: are you still reading this blog?

so what happened to this? maybe it's because LJ is easier to use and navigate around (maybe you should take this as a word of advice, blogspot staff) and LJ's load times are faster (for me, at least). i've unofficially separated the content of my two journals: surveys and personal life belong to livejournal, and essays/thoughts belong to blogger.

but lately i don't have much will to write here if i'm not getting opinions from others anyway.

so now, i'm contemplating about what to do with this little space of the web. i've been thinking about closing it down and fully surrendering to LJ but there're just way too much memories and sentimental value in this to let go.

ah, life.

the etymology of profanity

since the beginning of time, or human civilization for that matter, society has marked a number of certain words as "unsuitable for a decent person". that list of words varies from civilization to civilization, country to country, language to language, and dialect to dialect. these days you may know some of them as, and i do not censor them, "fuck", "shit", "ass" (to some extent, and when referring to the buttocks), "damn", and the show of rudeness that requires no spoken word, the middle finger.

one can only wonder how they came to be profanities in the first place, as even the rudest of words have a benign origin. for example, we all know that the word "ass" can refer to the donkey, the word "bitch" is the name for a female dog, and you may not know it, but the word "fuck" has its roots in old english (yea, i say, wikipedia does the rest). knowing these facts, it can be assumed that sometime in history, someone in authority branded such words as heretical, derogatory, and whatnot.

what ticks me off is the impact they have on the teachings of the Church. (yes, here i go rambling about religion again. everything seems to amount to it, doesn't it?) i used to go to confession and say that one of my sins was to use profanity, and looking back, i don't exactly see anymore how profanity could be so harmful to one's faith.

a "bad word", alone, is merely an expression of emotion. the thing we have to remember about profanity is that it is not God who brands such words as indecent, but in fact, society who does that job. for example, the word "pussy" originally referred to a cat, right? it wasn't until the modern times that it came to refer to a woman's genitalia. or, if you wish for a less crude example, the word "Jew" became derogatory after world war II, when the word is obviously used to refer to a Jewish person. who started that "Jew" trend? weren't the Nazis responsible for that? Hitler is just a member of a society, just like you and me.

my point is, profanities are not inherently bad. they are bad because it's what society makes of them, meaning, other people just say that they're bad because it's what they were taught. while, okay, maybe i just wrote this so that i have something to justify myself with whenever i curse, although i think that this is something that hasn't been really well thought-out by many.

so in closing, i'd like to say, peace out, bitches.

grieving for the skies

lately i've been playing ff9 on the ps2, and that revived my interest on certain final fantasy oldies. since i know i'm not going to play perennial favorite final fantasy tactics any time sooner, i decided to read the game script and relish in its dubious and bountiful plot twists.

it also contains many different takes on issues and ideologies, usually involving class, human manipulation, politics, religion, etc etc.

so allow me to post an insightful snippet.

Wiegraf: Hya, ha, ha. So much for 'God's miracle'. Governments
falsify history only so it favors them. But you can't blame
them. Because people always hope for a 'miracle'. Endlessly 
complaining, lazy, nuisances... that's what the masses really 
are. Governments give the people what they want...and history 
repeats itself. Governments might well have taken advantage of 
their insecurity.... But then again, people are satisfied
being used.

i know it doesn't make much sense without knowing the context, so forgive me on that. if you want to read the whole thing, just look up "final fantasy tactics" in GameFAQs and look for the "game script" FAQ. (i can't directly link to it.)

back to downloading the ff9 soundtrack. nobuo uematsu is a genius.

you can "keys" my ass

just when i thought i'd have a topic drought within the next few weeks. the news is such a wonderful thing.

part of tonight's entertainment news (both kapamilya and kapuso) is about, hence the title, keys me and its singer, alyssa alano. okay, it's mostly about the singer and how she sung it and less about the song itself. she says, instead of hampering her singing career (or lack thereof), the infamous youtube video (i don't know the URL to it as of this moment) has actually helped her confidence.

i say, "wtf?"

despite the saying that there is no such thing as bad publicity, i'm going to go out on a limb and declare this as HORRIBLE publicity. not just for the aforementioned viva hotbabe who murdered sixpence none the richer, but for the state of the english language in this country. i've rambled on and on about poor english in the philippines, and i swear, this does not help anything.

i guess she displayed a positive attitude by actually raising her head after the fall, but this is the kind of thing that damages a country's reputation. this is the kind of thing that no one should benefit from; this is the kind of thing that should be eradicated from the memory of the public, apologized for, and immediately rectified. shame on you, alyssa alano. shame on you. thanks to the popularity of youtube, the rest of the world may be likely to brand filipino singers as people who butcher foreign songs.

simply put, we shouldn't gain anything good from things like this, save for a message to do something about the state of the english language in this country.

in other news, manny pacquiao is ranked #1 among the veterans. despite being a sellout, one cannot ignore the fact that he still owns. also, ABS-CBN seriously needs to find a way to resurrect the body of ernie baron, since that new guy doing the weather doesn't exactly spell ratings like the walking encyclopedia did.

ooh. i guess i still have it :))

280th

the other day, wowie asked me why i haven't been updating this [blog] anymore. i told him i ran out of topics. aside from coming back home, which i already covered in my LJ, what is new that could be blogged about?

there will be more "bloggable" stuff that are bound to happen, i guess. until then i'll leave you all with a simple thought: every day is a battle.

break with your past

when i was a kid, i read the bible. though i guess everyone can attest to reading the bible, i sort of read it from front to back, skipping the psalms, the prophets, the letters, and everything else that did not constitute "action" to my childish mind. i wanted to read about the war exploits of joshua and moses, the adventures of the apostles, and of course, the perennial highschool favorite, revelations. (i believed it and was scared to death. now, everyone knows revelations is full of poetic symbolism.) somehow i believed every word of what i've read - every if not most children are gullible.

which leads us to the topic: how seriously should the Bible be taken?

mr. kalam (it's funny how everyone cares about him now) quoted a passage from leviticus about eating pork.

"And the pig, though it has a split hoof completely divided, does not chew the cud; it is unclean for you. You must not eat their meat or touch their carcasses; they are unclean for you." - Leviticus 11:7-8 (New International Version)

leviticus is part of the 3 of 5 books of the torah that deal with the rules. the thing about these "rulebooks", if you will, is that they were meant for the hebrews and judaism. (what do you think bar mitzvahs are for?) and it doesn't take a genius to know that there is an obvious difference between judaism and christianity. therefore that verse or the books themselves aren't required to be followed by us. in fact, scholars interpret the book as a prophecy of Christ's coming.

going back to the Bible in general. i, for one, view the Bible, save for majority of the New Testament, as mostly literature. also, some people take revelations (*coughtruthseekercough*) way too seriously. they take it word for word, not as symbolism. yes, i do agree that in some point in time the world will end, but not exactly as described in the book.

there is also the case of the book of Genesis clashing with the Big Bang theory. i, for one, would not completely agree about Genesis's account of the world's creation, but instead i'll go for the theory of a scientific God. that seems to be the more logical way to go (see the Five Ways).

all in all, the Bible should be revered as both historical and theological, yes, but in some cases it needs to be taken in with a grain of salt.

bullshit dinners and the free champagne

it may be a late subject, but let me cut to the chase:

what is the appeal of Pinoy Big Brother and other shows of its genre?

needless to say, i don't like it. i don't like the "real life on tape" subgenre of reality shows. but if you think about it, that statement is quite ironic, as any other television show with a plotline is, in fact, real life on tape.

for millennia, people have enjoyed watching other people "live" their "lives" behind a looking-glass. from the ancient greek plays on the ampitheatres to today's modern, nonsensical, poor vs. rich soap operas, from old vaudeville to the movies on the big screen, people flock to watch other people go about their lives, be it as interesting as running for your life or as boring as going through a daily routine at a factory.

why?

intrigue, i guess. there's this basic level of intrigue that people don't know they have. people want to know what goes on in other peoples' lives, be it fictional or real. it's enough motivation to turn on the boob tube and see what happens on today's episode of drake and josh, or even simply today's edition of the news. (the news is, in fact, the first-ever reality show on tv. no, i mean, ever.)

going back to the big brother genre. it makes no sense to me to put a number of different people into one house, much less put them on tape, unless you're doing an experiment for the sake of psychology. what the genre does is, yes, take a number of people, stick them in one house for, what, a 100 days, watch the whole scene unfold and see who the public likes the most to win the prize. oh, and while we're waiting for the 100 days to pass, why not throw in a few challenges here and there to spice it up? and the show highlights all if not most of the issues that goes around within the 'housemates' and gives that to the public for them to consider eviction.

i don't know about you, but i feel that the contestants' lives are being cheapened every day they're in that God-forsaken house. if i was in a house like that, i wouldn't go insane over the other people; rather, i would go insane because of the fact that i'm being monitored 24/7. i mean, why would you want to watch me? i'm a real person, i'd rather you watch me when i actually act out. aren't you called nosy when you snoop into other people's businesses? and the networks actually condone this by handing out said life to the public.

i don't know, maybe i will never really understand why the genre is so popular. i probably can't fault its contestants for going out on a limb to win a big amount of money just by living. i just feel that there are better things worth watching than watching a show through the eyes of a security camera and whatnot. better things worth watching than life cheapened.

opm blues

what is up with [mainstream] opm lately? being in a foreign land i obviously wouldn't be able to keep up with the latest native music back at home, but listening to the multitudes of opm downloaded by my brothers, i can't help but wince once i hear them and quickly click next to the who. (i should probably start screening downloads, but that's a story for another day.)

maybe it's because my personal taste for music evolves at paces i don't understand, or my personal inner taste for filipino music only reached the intricate arrangements and styles of bamboo and the perennial old-school rivermaya. (the greatest hits album was all right, though. hi sis.) but everything else, beginning at the opm boom of two years ago, seems to be stale right now.

hale? cueshe? spongecola? 6cyclemind? kamikazee? even the once-different orange and lemons sounds the same as the mold. these guys have seemed to overstay their welcome already. for me, at least. they all sound the same. hale and spongecola are now the standards of bad vocals.

maybe it's really just me and my taste for foreign bands. i don't know. at least i can say my brothers have very poor taste.

[EDIT] as you can see, i changed the layout for a while. previous one's color scheme was a bit too hard for the eyes. i'm still cringing, but i had to do this. i'll probably get someone to make me a new layout, as i hate ripping off of blogskins (though i do have an account there), but i also hate not making my own. guess i must choose the lesser evil. [/EDIT]

most of us have something to complain about

i'm still waiting for the day.

biting the hand that guides

i'm not defending this kid anymore. bashing the closest thing he had to a friend is the final nail in the coffin.

[EDIT] this comment has summed up all of my thoughts about the commenters.

OMFG! said...

CAN EVERYONE PLEASE! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP! tangina.. is this what our batch has come to? tangina.. hindi naman pala si jahan yung may problema e.. kayong mga retarded na mahilig manggamit ng ibang pangalan para makainsulto sa mga kinaiinis niyo. buti pa si jahan, nagpakilala pa. tangina. mga bading pala kayo lahat e.

i'd also like to add another word: owned. [/EDIT]

unfriendly skies

the ongoing battle with jahan and his 405 (and counting) detractors goes on. (by the way, i linked it so that people will hopefully go through the archives and at least try to understand what is up with him. that's a hint, go take it.) though the war has slightly abated, there are still more and more stupid, humorous, and discriminating insults that are even more uncalled for than the post itself, being heaped on top of each other by the sincerely angry and the vandals alike.

thank God for the smarter rebuttals.

taking piccio's theory into mind (second time i linked him, by the way), this whole issue reminds me of a certain episode of CSI. an old man was found dead in the lavatory of an airplane, and this is how he died.

the old man was being a natural jerk to the other passengers of the plane. at first they thought nothing of it and politely asked him to stop, but he kept on being a jerk until the passengers got really pissed at him. push came to shove and the passengers beat the old guy to death as a mob, because they thought he was a terrorist.

but what really happened was that the old man was suffering from a killer migraine due to encephalitis (for those lazy enough to read another page, encephalitis is a swelling of the brain.) and when you get a migraine, you feel uncomfortable. so the old man is squirming in his seat, kicking the backs of other seats, squashing the call button. he gets on a few people's nerves, and unintentionally acts like a hijacker. this is what ticks off the other passengers, and this is what leads to the mob that kills him.

the thing is, this whole incident could have been avoided. and i'll quote gil grissom verbatim:

GRISSOM:  If just one person had stopped and taken the time to look at the guy
to listen to him, to figure out what was wrong with him it might not have
happened.  It took five people to kill him.  It would have only taken one person
to save his life.

see the resemblance to the situation? if people hadn't seen him as a "fat muslim boy" but as a human being just like them, he wouldn't have been so antisocial and he wouldn't have written that entry.

so fresh, so clean

so i guess everybody's heard of the alumnus who bashed the school. i won't link to him here and i'll leave it to you to actually find the blog. his statements are definitely making waves in the blogosphere, he's getting his 15 seconds of fame, and what nice timing as he expressed his feelings after graduation, when he wouldn't be an easy target anymore whilst walking along the halls of the school.

despite that, i am not for him nor against him and/or his statements.

people in the against camp would probably tell me to show just a little school pride. sure, i would. i admit that he really shouldn't have bashed those people like he did, even though he was making use of the first amendment.

i would have wholeheartedly joined the against camp were it not for some of its members. those members who stooped to a level even lower than the perpetrator's when they started making use of his religion and nationality as insults in the comments box. that's no longer school pride; that's discrimination. and when you're discriminating people, i don't want to be associated with you. some are just freeloading this issue to call him names and give him death threats.

so i found it wise to take the neutral stand. i do praise those who have countered the guy intelligently and properly. reassures me that smart people still exist in this world.

[EDIT]i read piccio's take on this issue and i was impressed. taking it on from the psychological angle - and i wonder why i didn't think of that. maybe because i was angry about the half-asses who insult rather than rebutt.

anyway, it might just be a cry for help. a cry because he's been neglected.[/EDIT]

browsing

last night, i was managing the comments in my comments box when i advertently clicked page 10 on the archive. one thing led to another and i found myself reading about the past. i really couldn't help but laugh at some of them. i guess i've just come a really really long way.

for example...

i remember the time when jam got mad at me over lindsay lohan's boobs, when we came up with MKSMA, and the time when my dog bit me. this blog used to be so vibrant when i updated it almost every day.

now i hate to admit it, but i finally will: i (obviously) prefer livejournal for its ease, but there's something about this blog that keeps me coming back to it. i have contemplated closing it at times, but since i've come so far, this one's going to stay.

cheers.

sixteen years and still banging

not exactly the happiest birthday, but it's still fun to be alive.

especially when you're finally legal for a license.