year-end notes

if i could call any one of the 16 years of my life a whirlwind, i would have to pick 2006. (so far.) why? it's all too obvious.

i entered this year knowing fully that i wouldn't be in the same place to enter the next year. when the time came for me to leave, i didn't want to go, but i accepted it anyway, knowing that my dreams will finally be fulfilled in the land of milk and honey.

while i was there, i had a nagging feeling that i'd be ending this year back at home. i'm not sure if it was rebellious optimism or a plain nagging feeling in the back of my head, but there was this some measure of certainty about my "prediction". and, lo and behold, all the teary goodbyes i had early in the summer were nullified, my pride was sorta shot down, and we had to go back home, 2 and a half weeks into the school year. luckily i didn't miss much, and luckily i didn't have to introduce myself to my adviser, who would turn out to be my omnipresent second father, sir lasap (nonoy is the third... no, he happens to be more of a kuya). senior-c happily welcomed me into their ranks. i haven't a tinge of regret for every moment with them, ever since.

the whole irony of it all is that once i got back, it didn't take too long for me to decide that the place for me was the states. i mean, come on, i couldn't realize my dream back home. i could only pioneer the industry at home when i was well-established. no, i have to go back soon. the second stint here at home shouldn't last well beyond graduation.

and things got muddied up along the way - plans are unsure, but i'm hoping for the best. 2006 was an adventure for me, and now i'm looking forward to the big '07.

cheers!

songs half sung

christmas caroling has lost all its former glory - at least it has, here in the Philippines.

its original premise of bringing about christmas cheer to each house in the neighborhood has taken a back seat to the shady, underhanded goal of making a quick peso. if, in the states, a well-organized troupe of singing children, adults, or both get to sing a good repertoire of
christmas carols, here in the Philippines, anyone, mostly streetchildren, will go right up to you in the street or in your church parking lot and half-heartedly sing you the undying "sa may
bahaaayyy...". they deserve a peso or lower for such acts. but since i'm such a softie, they get a minimum of five pesos from me.

i think caroling should have a rating system - i mean, you get plus points (more money) for effort. i mean, it's so easy to sing a song using a slightly improved version of your normal speaking voice - therefore, it's so easy to just hand you five pesos. and we all know
how much five pesos amounts to nowadays.

and isn't it annoying on how the money becomes an automatic off switch? i mean, once they get
their hands on it, they stop singing. the good carolers finish off their repertoire before leaving, and trust me, we rarely get good carolers.

please, give caroling the dignity it once had and has in other countries. going out and giving money to those who are literally begging for it, despite how good or bad they sing, has become
a chore for me, instead of an opportunity to be really entertained.

the sun shines, people forget

i'm pissed at my parents because they stereotype blacks.

yes, they stereotype blacks. i don't want to call it downright racism yet, though.

they don't want to move to somewhere in the States with a high population count of the said "minority". they don't want me to go to a college with black kids. why, you ask? apparently, black people are "too violent", which is the picture painted by gangsta rap and gang violence.

yes, tupac and biggie smalls did die of drive-bys. yes, the crips are a notorious african-american gang. but hell, that's just the outside! come on, a crime of one person does not equal to a crime of the whole race. just because they're unfairly associated with violence does not mean that every african-american is violent. hell, i want a black best friend! (aside from negs, that is.)

it's not fair. i get annoyed when they talk about blacks with such a negative connotation. they're trying to avoid them like a plague. it's just not fair.

all i've got here is my pride

if you ask anyone who knows me about what i'm like, one of the things they'll tell you is that i'm proud - sometimes too proud for my own good. and some people will say that sometimes, or most of the time, it gets to my head.

yeah, sure, i've accepted that definition of me; in fact, i endorse it. i say, too much pride is better than an absolute zero confidence.

that doesn't mean i'm not humble, though; in fact, lately i've learned to give the spotlight to those who truly deserve it, telling them to "savor the moment", because in all honesty, they really should if they deserve to. i acknowledge bragging rights to those who have them.

i seriously think that pride is a key human element. you just can't allow people to walk all over you and your pride - without even just a little sense of pride, you'd be no better off than an animal. you are a human being, you have good qualities somewhere in there, and it's your job to take those good qualities and display them like the trophies they are. just don't overdo it.

as for me, i inherited my overflowing pride from my parents, most especially my father - he's just a very accomplished man, and the stories he tells about his own father make me feel that i'm part of a legacy that is, to quote my idol, reeking with awesomeness. i also have great company and they contribute to my pride and confidence. i also have dreams; the career path i dream of taking requires me to always keep my chin up.

so, there. take your pride, stick it where the sun shines, and make sure to back it up always.