8 simple rules for dating my teenage sisters

taken and slightly modified from here. enjoy. julian, take heed. =))

• Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure as heck not picking anything up.
• Rule Two: You do not touch my sister in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my sister's body, I will remove them.
• Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. (I only wear mine only slightly loosely but only because my waistline is small.) Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to assure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my sister, I will take my electric staple gun and fasten your trousers securely in place around your waist, while wearing a devious smile.
  
• Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I WILL kill you.
• Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about games, politics, current affairs and the like. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my sister safely back at home, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
• Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow (nevertheless still an idiot), with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my sister. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my baby sister, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
• Rule Seven: As you stand in the hallway, waiting for my sister to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My sister is putting on her makeup, a process which can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful?
• Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my sister: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places lacking parents, policemen, or nuns. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my sister to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her chin. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey and/or basketball games are okay.

talk about the overprotective brother :P

if the day after tomorrow would be two days ago, what day would it be tomorrow?

maybe it's just me, but i feel like i'm a real-time wanderer with a real-time watch and conscience stuck into a fast-time zone. (if you don't know what a fast-time zone is, read Time Streams, but here's what it is in a nutshell: it's a zone wherein time passes faster than it would in a real-time zone.)

why did i just say that?

it feels like all my days are lived in a heartbeat or two. today's monday, and the next thing i know, the lazy friday will come by (WALANG RETREAT. telen kasi eh.) without me having to blink.

the days just go by really really fast. as i said, it's a monday but soon friday will roll around. and monday will roll around faster than friday did. it's so weird. could anyone explain it?

teeth-grinding

the awards have come and gone, and my two friends here are feeling morose (i'm suspecting it's more of not winning any, and not of being tired. nah, i'm kidding, russ and leiron). we won best music and best comedic performance.

i have a timpanic membrane to pick with these guys. (it's the smallest bone in the body.)

i would like to speak in protest against stef stefanowitz's being crowned as the best supporting actress. in fact, there were two nominees of the same category that were drawn from the same film. (what's up with that?)

i would like to speak in protest against this decision, for all stef really did was that psycho-esque shower scene. and that already won her the breakthrough performance award. okay, fine. i'll live with that. but if i were the head judge, i would've crowned inah bautista (from the same movie, yes) or gabby faeldan.

now if you want some, come get some, but hear me out. what was the criteria in judging her, anyway? in my not-so-humble opinion, i believe that she didn't deserve the award. the movie deserved an award, i'll give you that - but ms. stefanowitz doesn't deserve the best supporting actress award. to be honest, the part she played was rather insignificant to warrant a nomination.

that's all i've got to say. now if you want some, come get some.

anti-hale champ

this little post started out as a few lines. in the few lines going in, i decided that i'm probably being too harsh, and at that time, i don't know exactly how to display my "hatred" of hale without people rioting in the streets. so i just saved it as a draft, shelved it, and aged it in an oak barrel.

and now, rodney, here's the promised post. it's five months overdue, but hey.

every close friend of mine knows that i hate hale. some of them share my hatred, while some of them go on and enjoy it. my brothers are semi-sorta-addicted to it. my sisters love it. there's a hale phenomenon sweeping the nation. (long life to us who have resisted the evil wave.)

but i can't be close-minded for all my life, you know.

since my brothers listen to it, i have enough respect and courtesy not to deprive them of hale by not switching the music channel/radio station or changing the track now playing. so since i'm sort of exposed to the music, i've one thing to say, really.

the music and the lyrics are really good. it's just that champ, the lead vocalist, sucks ASS.

A-S-S.

i'm not going to delve deeper and analyze his style. i'm just going to say that if i were to sing my own covers of hale songs, i would do a better job. his "singing accent" is just plain weird - i told rodney once that to properly sing hale, one must be drunk. (he then said that to properly sing hale, one musn't sing properly.) so does he intentionally down a couple of bottles of red horse as preparation before a gig? sounds like it.

really, i love the musicians. as arun said, their bassist packs a wallop. i have to agree with that - listen to kahit pa. (the voice sucks ass, but try paying attention to the background as you struggle to keep your sanity.) maybe they were better off as an instrumental-only band.

the "rockstar hale" idea is a good concept. find a new lead singer, or give your lead singer some voice lessons; mayaman naman siya eh. teach him to sing in a chad kroeger or bo bice or maybe even a constantine maroulis style of singing voice.

so to cher, i have no beef with you. just your older brother.

now if you want some, come get some.

it's real funny when i think about it

i was alone in the house yesterday morning when i opened my tenor sax case and assembled the wonderful instrument. (i'd promised myself that i'd bring it home just to play it in the house, even for a little bit.) i was also chatting with julian, casey, and my sister at that time.

when i finally set the sax up, i was fooling around with the notes like i always do. besides, it's not just plain fooling around, anyway; i was just going up and down the scale really fast. (it makes a jazz sound, but it's really basic, really. i should've practiced the etude.)

while fooling around the notes, i suddenly discovered the opening notes to *nsync's "it's gonna be me". not really discovered, but playing some riff and recognizing it as the popular opening notes. (i say popular because julian can recognize the song only by hearing the aforementioned notes.) so i was all "wow" and immediately "experiment" and "explore" for the notes of the chorus.

now, having said that, i'm guessing that you probably wouldn't give a damn. but allow me to tell you that most of the songs i discover by myself are pop! iris, hinahanap-hanap kita, ulan, as long as you love me, and now, this - i was hoping i'd discover more of jazz or swing than pop or rock. then again, we could always make remixes of pop to jazz or something like that.

maybe i'd fit in an instrumental band playing more of mainstream in jazz form.

yeah, it's real funny when i think about it.

empêchement de la parole

i was going up the stairs yesterday morning when i met manda. well, the story was, she greeted me and i was rather off-guard. my response to her ever-so-familiar "hi, peps" was a quick and surprised mixture of "hi", "blah", and "manda".

oh, i hate it when that happens. on to the detailed explanation.

so my main worry is that people might think i'm a snob when this happens in the hallways and along the corridors. despite the numerous high-fives and back slaps i get whenever i go up or whatever, there are some people who take the time to greet me, but sadly, all i could come up is a short "hi" or "hey".

i believe that mentioning the person's name along with the greeting is a sign that shows that you respect him or her and a sign of recognition.

but the thing is, the name usually escapes me! why? it's either one of two things - i'm ambushed or i'm feeling shy. it's more of the former, i assure you, but it's damn annoying for me.

so to you who have been victims of this, forgive me - it's not intentional.

the wonders of google

read. maybe you'll weep. i don't know.

pray tomorrow takes me higher

everyone (okay, not everyone, but a lot of people) seem to be on a spring fever right now. everyone (okay, a lot of people) have (8) somebody toooo love (8). (and of course, that somebody to love loves them back.) me? i'm sitting here. by myself.

and this one new couple that's just sprouted, they just re-confirmed a wonderful thing about life. 'course, out of courtesy to the people involved, i won't tell you who they are. because they are together (at least, MU, but that already qualifies as 'together' for me), they have ultimately confirmed that love is damned definitely blind.

i'm jealous. but i'm not jealous because he got the girl. i'm jealous because he got a girl. *applause*

yeah, it's good that it works that way.

even if spring fever is on everyone but myself. :P i'm sure my time will probably come soon. it's just that the people i fall for aren't usually willing to start a relationship in this age yet. :))

or something like that.

pride

i had a haircut today. the wonderful thing about my barber is that he's been cutting hair off of 4 moran generations already! it's also a wonderful thing that he's still alive and healthy. also, whenever i'm in that particular barber shop, i get to learn something new.

for example,
- today i learned from my father that i have the same hairstyle as my grandfather
- the moran family is a great and accomplished family (nothing new there)
- my late grandfather has a picture with kareem abdul-jabbar =)) it's in the barber shop. it's an old, fading sepia-toned picture. the funny part is that he had the picture taken while the lakers were huddling.

ah, such wonderful things.

holy fucking shit (!)

those three words are all i have to describe the movie "shutter". from here on end, i will now request all of my future loves to not haunt me relentlessly after you die. in turn, any affiliations of mine will not rape you. :P (medyo giveaway na yung kwento, ah)

anyway, we foregone all sense of being in school and decided to play monopoly and watch shutter. algebra? who cares! t.h.e. video? bah! geometry? whatever! we'll just have fun!

dammit man (nigga), shutter is a scream-fest. we have your typical vengeful lover-cum-horrifying and bloodied ghost, and two protagonists who, as expected, do not know what not to do in a horror movie.

the plot and cinematography was amazing *applause* the soundtrack was psycho-reminiscent, although i did want the shrieking violins.

and why watch the game? isn't not wanting to watch it the reason why we stayed? ah, basta. maybe i'll just sleep instead.

adieu.

you know what they should've done? they should've set it free.

so, we lost. philippe is all too happy, but his smile fades a little when i say to him, "philippe, does it count as a victory when people say they wanted us to win?"

"they do?"

maybe we lost by a hair, or maybe by a longshot. who knows? the thing i love about it is that all i've been hearing is, "i wanted you to win!" or "sayang, di kayo nanalo!" according to other people, brother ceci gave us a score higher than senior-a (the third place finisher).

that would probably leave us as the fan favorite.

as kuya edmon once told an eager, bonded, and talented class of sophomores that i am still happy to be a part of, "go for the legacy, not for the award."

where is the moment we needed the most?

no, the title of today's blog has almost nothing to do with the content. russell and i just love the song bad day. it could also be used to describe rodney and his group today. :P (no offense.)

we had angelic's birthday celebration/gimmick in town. i could say one thing: i haven't had this much fun in a while. our usual forays to town usually involve a movie, tekken, and AoM. this was waaay different, for starters.

leiron couldn't go. as usual. no offense again. at least he had a reason i could sympathize with.

anyway, first off, we watched transporter II. i was semi-blown away by the movie, but only because of jason stratham's ability to use everything in the background. i had some sort of "leiron replacement" in the form of nikki, who, thankfully, agreed with my usual sarcastic/comedic comments about everything from the pre-movie trailers and commercials to the movie itself. the plot was very different from what i've been expecting, i must admit.

semi-cortel joke! sir cortel: "i'm looking for a transporter."

after that we headed to ipose to take some pictures. tsk. we didn't push through with the helios poses.

tita tina: "peps, maaraw?"

when we were finished, we headed to the food court to eat. russ and i got matching salisbury steaks. (mura!) we discussed about everything at the table, from the sabs to manolet to losing the inspirational song contest. (more on that in another entry.) also, on the way, russ and i continued arguing on whether the so-called "caste system" exists (it's discussed in the comments of two entries ago). i couldn't find the exact words for my argument, and nor could he, so we decided to finish things up in ym.

after the whole meal (i was feeling kinda sour in the stomach, to be honest) we went up to timezone. loaded the first 100, raced, and then, headed for tekken. here comes the sweet part.

I WAS ABLE TO BEAT 4 KOREANS IN A ROW!

how? 'course, i was using king. (i was afraid to use kuma because, well, kulang sa mastery.) the thing that was holding my flair back was, for some reason, the inability of the arcade machine to recognize the double heel hold combination, therefore i quickly changed strategies. instead of my now notorious high kick - giant swing combo, i did some slight juggling, either using a disgraceful kick or a punch combo after that climactic high kick. also, it turns out that only a few know how to block my 10-hit combo (the one that results in a powerbomb.)

okay, enough tekken geek talk.

the rest of the timezone duration was spent playing DDR. it was really, really fun. really. really. fun. we were so tired after the whole thing.

after taking the last batch of pics, we parted ways. russ and i spent the last few minutes in powerbooks, reading garfield and pugad baboy X, respectively.

and there is something quite out-of-place when you're in a car with three of your grand-relatives speaking in very fluent bisaya.

good morning.